Tag Archives: blogging

A new January

We can’t control the sea but we can learn to ride the waves.
~ Said a few wise people

img_1210

Happy new year, everyone (or no one?) :-) I have no idea who still reads or subscribes to this blog, but I was told recently that treehousekitchen showed up as a hit in a Google search for Tessa Kiros’s ceviche (first page!). Somehow, that piece of news winked at me ;-) Thanks, Kath, what a fun email to receive.

I spent a bit of time clicking around on the internet yesterday. Peeking at blogs I used to enjoy reading. Some still brought a sense of delight; others were dull with marketing; many seemed to have hit Pause or Stop sometime around 2013.

The internet, along with the rest of the world, is going through such revolutionary times. I mean, life has never ever stood still, but is it just me, or is change just happening faster and faster, more and more (in real life, and 1000x more ridiculously on the internet)? Looking through some older blogs and noticing the amount of change we have been through in a short length of time – just with the average style and quality of photographs on websites over the last seven years for instance – is amazing. There was a time in the not-so-distant past when you might have been the only one in a circle of friends who kept a ‘blog’ and ‘blogged’ on Saturday nights while everyone else was out getting pizza … now heaps of people have operated some kind of blog before and have, in fact, moved on to more significant endeavours.

Sitting down intentionally now to write (or even blog) feels slow and unnecessary; like attempting to knit myself a scarf when I could just buy one from a store. Or like doing something ‘unimportant’ when I could be reading emails or 200 social media updates instead.

I keep glancing up at the time, seeing the minutes tick by as I pause between thoughts and words. I hear a whisper of panic in my heart as I wonder if I always took so long to compose posts in the past, or whether this is taking longer because I am out of practice? And as the fear grows, other questions sprout. Can I do this? Should I do this? Is it going to at least change the world or something, for it to be worthwhile?

And as I write this, I smile with the sincere silliness of these questions.

Can’t we just cook*, blog, publish just for the simple desire of doing so? I ask myself.

And I shall leave it here today.

* Or, in this case, assemble – bagel halves, a full spread of cream cheese, slices of avocado and a fine vine-ripened tomato, smoked salmon, freshly squeezed lemon juice, salt and pepper – served alongside a generous pinch of micro-greens. 

Still

In the years in which I wrote most of Treehousekitchen I was searching for something – actually, a few things. Mostly, I think I was searching for a constant spark, that would ignite life around me – heck, that would ignite me … body, soul, spirit, as each day merged into the next. I was searching for a recognition, an activity or thing that was universal (meeting the need in me to connect) and yet, distinctly, my own.

And gratefully I say that food was the most wonderful, faithful channel open to me then (perhaps you too experience this in your soul!)

Memory adds distortion and objectivity both. Occasionally I read through my archives and am struck by how magical / ordinary the days were – how much internal struggle there was at times – how much both God and bad times continued to propel me forward through it all. There were times I just cringed reading some old lines, remembering the mood behind those words. Wanting, very much, to hit Delete.

But, perhaps there is no need to be ashamed.

Perhaps it was all – then, as it is now … exactly right.

I’m participating in an excellent career coaching program now (“Your Career Homecoming” led by the gifted and wise Laura Simms) and one thing she keeps reiterating is, “You are exactly where you are supposed to be.” She sent me a postcard with this message a few months ago, and at the time I had thought this:  yes, I was in the right place – on this journey … but what I got from the message was that the entire thing that made this journey worthwhile (or right at all!) was getting to the destination. 

But recently I received a second postcard from her and this time it clicked. The whole process … is right. In every moment, we are in the right place. Ah, what joy comes back when we can truly believe this in our hearts on both the sunniest and greyest of days!

When I look at the mirror now, I see a girl, a woman, still searching for The Spark – except I now understand a little more that the spark is not one final goal, but a series of movements constituting the dance of life. I have lost about 8kg since I penned the last post on this site – and I am happy with how I look and getting happier each time I am able to put together an outfit that I feel proud wearing. I was mostly fine with my appearance back then, but now with the benefit of new experiences and some very hard challenges, I truly marvel at how the body faithfully processes so many morsel of food every day, at how it bounces back from all the things we put it through (like 8 hours of computer work each day, alas!) … I marvel that I am here, writing this post, thinking less of getting this post perfect or of posting about some swell dish … rather, just being here ‘cos it’s fun to be, even if no one else happens to be hanging out here today.

For the inspiration to post here today, I thank a certain culinary student who contacted me through my blog; my friend Paul (ah! He will be sighing); and my loving man Jarred who has held my hands in my recent ‘creative restlessness’ with much grace and kindness.

Well then. Good morning :)

IMG_20160131_162204621